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| Things were going just fine. Not until today.
1. I suck at SATs.
2. I'm a bad pet owner.
I must be a fool to think life is going nice and smoothly. The reality is that life is rough and stressful. I find it amazing that I'm still in the beginning of learning. There are still many things I need to know. Compared with other people, I may not be as smart, or I may not be as physically strong. I have to say there are times I look down on myself. I try to look into the future and think about myself in the up coming years, but I see nothing. I kind of see things negatively at certain times, and it just happens. I guess one good thing about me is that I can self motivate myself into a better moral.
A lot of times I learn quick from mistakes and I really consider the thoughts of others. It's tough going through life alone. No one to talk to, no one who cares, no one to trust, no one acknowledge you. I think like that sometimes, but every time I walk towards the darkness, there seems to be some light that guides me back to the surface. That light, is none other than myself. It's strange though, when ever I medidate about such things, I always come to this one thought of intamacy. I began to think, "I want to share this with someone. I want to sit down, one on one and tell everything to that person what I'm experiencing."
I sometimes even try to imagine myself laying down underneathe the bright night sky with someone, some person.
[Those are my thoughts, it may sound strange, but I'm feeling much better now that I have attempted to express myself.]
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| Hmmmm hmmmmmmmmm.... Ever got the feeling like you wana talk with someone, but you don't know who to go to? Well, I'm experiencing that right now. It's probably just me caz I find it hard to open up to someone and begin a nice chat. I guess you could say it's hard to find trust? I dunno, maybe I'm emphasizing too much. Most likely I just suck at socializing. Es muy dificil, I wish there was someone out there who would stick with me and support me when ever I need it. Someone that would come to me and care for me. Unfortunately, I can't really think of anyone that can fulfill that spot. The bonding is getting weaker. I wish there was something I could do for it not to break one day. | | |
| School's okay I guess... It's funny caz I didn't really care how my schedule will turn out to be, and yet I still get classes with lots of people I know. Unlike last year I prayed to be with my friends, but it didn't turn out to what I wanted.
Any way... Basically A days are my hard working days, and B days are my easy have fun day. Got all the easy classes all on my B day. Heh, seniors in a snap. I can still remember the beginning of high school... When I think back, it seems like I've grown a little.
Well..! In the first place I didn't really want to update this thing since no one really use xanga any more. But I am doing so now because I just got this feeling that I should record this down.
Some things just will never happen. Even though you try, it just doesn't allow it to happen. It's like there were so many chances, but all of a sudden they all go away. Leaving no possibilities for you to do anything. The two were never close in contact until that one time... It was that one time that they got closer, but not for long... The gap in between just seems to get bigger and bigger. One of them attempted communication in all sorts of way, but it was futile. It seems like there was a force acting upon them the whole time. Something like two magnets repelling against each other.
Ooooooooooookay.......... Yeah, that was just for myself. Who ever read that, don't try to understand it caz I just needed somewhere to express myself.
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| Ohhhhhhhhh boy! Summer school is coming to an end. I can't believe time is passing by so freaking fast. Last thing I remember, I was still a freshmen..... Maaan! I'm some what regretting high school year. It feels like there's more to it. Ehhh I dunno. I can still remember the good times. Those happy times are like events in my timeline. It's cool how you can picture it in mind. Makes me feel like I left some memories to think about.
All I know is that it's great to be able to recognize the past events that took place. As a freshmen with a new start, a sophomore with great change, and as juniors with loads of work. SENIOR YEAR HERE WE COME!!!!!!!
I can already tell lots of things changed since the beginning of high school. I wonder what our life will be once it's all over... Many more things will change, but some things will never. In my 16 years of life, I must say I have learned a lot. But compared with the world, there are much more to learn. | | |
| Man, been losing stuff lately. First losing my turtle, now I lost my memory card for the ps2. Wonder what's next..?
Well, I just realize that I don't really mind losing the memory card. Even though I have Kingdomhearts2 memory in it...  But oh well, I beat the game already, I was half way through the game in standard mode. No big deal.
I'm surprised that I'm not sad or anything about it. Rather I was so depressed when I found out my turtle was lost. I come to realize of what's important to me. It seems like that is what I learned.
Haha! Imagine lossing someone instead, I would probably go into shock and isolate myself. >,< Touch wood, touch wood. Who would I lose any way! No way! Not gona lose anyone. Anyone...
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